Why I'm in a bad mood, part 56

I just feel lost.

Tomorrow marks the end of week two of our engagement. For two weeks, I’ve been scanning over checklists, browsing the Internet and flipping through magazines. (A measly two weeks is 1/17th of our 8.5 month-long engagement.)

According to all these resources, the first step in planning a wedding is establishing a vision—the scope, the décor, the general theme backing your wedding. I thought I had figured that out, but all of my ideas are crumbling and I’m not quite sure where to start.

All I know is that I want our wedding to be different. We are not the usual 20-somethings and we want the wedding to speak to that. We want bikes, simplicity, fun. I want a short dress with pointy pumps. We want Yo La Tengo, M. Ward, Built to Spill. I want my pup to be a guest of honor. We don’t want unnecessary frills or nonsense just because that’s “how it’s done.”

I see weddings like this and this from Design*Sponge, and wonder how people simply get their shit together to have such beautiful cohesion.

How am I supposed to coordinate an event when I can’t even decide on my colors?

January 15, 2098

Celeste: "I am already hateful of this process."

Bethany: "You've been engaged for four days. Suck it up."

I am a worrywart. It is true that I became engaged on Friday night and I am already stressed out. The wedding may very well be tomorrow, not April. I have already managed to annoy those around me, make my mother angry and persuade Josiah to rethink his decision to marry me, let alone be around me for 10 minutes.

Here is the first dilemma of the too many to come: our desired timeframe.

You see, Josiah and I have been together for a long time. We didn't want to have a super long engagement, because by that time Josiah will be really old. I know there's nothing wrong with being engaged for a year or more, but we just want to get it over with. We've been waiting for a long time, so we see no reason to prolong it.

So we picked April. I've always dreamed of a brunch wedding (our favorite meal), with a crepe station and fresh blood oranges cut into fancy shapes (neither of these will happen). Still, though, we like waffles. April mornings are perfect in Arizona -- 70s with a zero percent chance of showers. Can't get better than that for an outside wedding.

Apparently everyone else has the same idea because places are ... not really available.

Josiah was convinced that a wedding would only take three weeks to plan. We argued about it even before we got engaged. My mom has always said a year was the length needed to properly plan. I told her she didn't have the Internet back in the day and I could surely cut that down. I am confident I could get everything else ready in 8.5 months, but I can't really change the unavailability of venues in April.

I've already had dramatic conversations with anyone and everyone who will listen to me (mother, Josiah, Bethany, Erica and Amanda). As of yesterday--my second day of searching--I had resigned myself to having our wedding in my parents' backyard amidst a lot of dog poop. I would invite 10 people and feel sorry for myself. Mom says I was being "doom and gloom," which has been a common phrase since Friday night. Not anymore!

So it turns out pretty much all of the venues I've looked at have had one Saturday available each, either in late March or April. That's good news, kind of. I'm happy that places are available but it scares me that there is only one date at each. Just today a place e-mailed me saying someone had secured a Saturday at lunch. I need to be quick and agile.

I have some appointments set up for this weekend to look at a couple places, then one next week. Hopefully they go well and stay available until I can go look at them.

I will feel much better knowing that we have a place secured and I can leave my parents' backyard to Cheyanne and Aldo, our cute poopers.

Also: Hilarious excerpt from an e-mail I just received:

"We have availability on January15th, 2110 to host your wedding."

Wow. That was the exact date I was looking for! Gotta love that font.