Five years

So, five years ago today Josiah and I met at Barnes and Noble for our first "date." We chatted over Italian sodas and I fell in love. Not kidding.

Here's an e-mail I wrote a friend, dated Nov. 19, 2004:

a few weeks ago i started hanging out with this kid josiah. but alas,
josiah is a special one. when i switched to my present high school
the second semester of freshman year, i think i fell in love with this
kid. amazingly gorgeous. i was so interested in him, in general, but
the whole two years he went there (graduated two years ago) i never
said a word to him. and even the past year and a half--i see him
everywhere. maybe you've noticed about half of my lj update's
subjects as "OMG I SAW JOSIAH TODAY OMG OMG OMG!!!# !v 3."

luckily he's still around and we have mutual friends. somehow things
got around and he found out about my everlasting crush. and what do
you know, it was the same for him.

needless to say, we've been hanging out more and more. he is one of
the most amazing and gorgeous (can i not find two better words or
something?) people i've met so far.

sadly, he's been pretty sick the past week and we haven't gotten to hang out.

i thnk something great is going to happen though.

We're on our way to fall in love.

I remember a summer's day
I remember walking up to you
I remember my face turned red
I remember staring at my feet
I remember before we met
I remember sitting next to you
I remember pretending I wasn't looking

When Josiah and I met at Barnes and Noble on Nov. 3, 2004, he handed me a burned copy of “And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out” by Yo La Tengo. It was his favorite CD, he said. It still is.

It was appropriate. I was initially drawn to him because I knew he listened to the same music as me. It sounds shallow, but that’s a big selling point for indie hipsters. You know, we just “get” each other. Zack Horne brought me up when meeting Josiah at a Microphones concert at the Modified. Our first date was a Delgados concert at the Clubhouse, back when it was like 10 square feet.

I remember driving home from Barnes and Noble, and stumbling upon track two “Our Way to Fall,” while pulling into my neighborhood. It instantly struck me.

A couple months prior, I was at Barnes and Noble (cut me some slack, it was the only cool place in Goodyear) with my good friend Mia and her brother Bo. We were hanging out at a four-person table when I heard a faintly familiar voice and looked up at the fourth person joining us at our table: Josiah. I can only imagine the panic clouding my mind as I instantly looked away and tried not to freak out. I have a feeling I did a poor job.

This was a common occurrence during my few interactions with Josiah pre-November 2005. Whether in the Millennium High School cafeteria or outside of Mrs. Sveom’s class where I had homeroom the last period of freshman year, my reaction was always the same.

I remember pretending I wasn’t looking.

Needless to say, I could relate to “Our Way to Fall.” I tend to be a superficial music listener. I don’t pay much attention to lyrics or delve into songs, but how could I not pay attention to this anthem of embarrassment and eventually love?

In the past five years, Josiah and I have probably attended 100 concerts. Our most anticipated one is coming up a week from today: Yo La Tengo. They haven’t played in Arizona for years and we fear this may be the band’s last hurrah (they’ve been together for like 20 years). We are both incredibly excited to see this concert and I know we won’t be disappointed.

Josiah’s main contribution to the wedding planning is the music. I’ve given him the task of compiling the music that will truly set the tone for our event, including mingling music, what I walk down the aisle to and reception tunes. This portion of the wedding is so incredibly important to us, and I wouldn’t trust anyone else.

I can’t wait to see what he comes up with.

P.S. - In an upcoming post I'll include some of our favorite tunes that we plan on including in our playlist.

My maid of honor

Three months ago, my best friend Amanda moved 2,400 miles away. She packed up her tiny Hyundai with as much crap as it could hold, and she drove to the other side of the country to participate in Teach for America.

To be honest, it's been shitty. Really shitty. I've cried a lot, felt sorry for myself, wondered why I have no friends and, overall, been very lonely since she left. I feel selfish for wanting to keep her here forever -- to go to sushi, eat McDonald's swirl cones, make fun of everyone, use terribly ugly voices, etc. It sucks to be with someone non stop, then have them torn away from you, never to return again. (At least not for two years.)

But before she left, she gave me a going away present: a bridal list book and a pack of brightly colored felt-tip pens (my favorite!). The big engagement was coming up and she knew exactly what I needed: a place to keep all of the lists that would soon consume my life.

I love Amanda. I love her more than I've loved any other friend. I'm not gay, but if I was I'd love Amanda in that way too. Right now, that love is devoted to Josiah.

Amanda is the best. She is the friend who will drop everything for you -- no matter what. She is hilarious, thoughtful, gorgeous and nurturing. She is the friend that has made me pee my pants. And even though I fake peeing my pants a lot, I'm being literal here. Not only is she the greatest friend on earth, but she is brilliant and an extremely hard worker. She was my assistant editor when I was EIC at the State Press Magazine. And to be honest, I would have not be able to do it without her.

It's funny, because Amanda and I have known each other since our freshman year at ASU. She was the awkwardly tall and obnoxiously loud one who lived a couple doors down from me in the Hayden West dorm. I was the reclusive hipster in room 209 who did not like anyone having fun remotely close to me. My roommate Bethany and I would complain about everyone outside who would never shut the hell up.

Then, sophomore year Amanda stumbled into the SPM editors' office during one of our weekly meetings. She was a new writer, and I recognized her as the loud girl from the dorms and promptly decided to not talk to her. Instead, I was pretentious and made fun of my fellow staffers with Katie Lehman, our photographer.

The next semester, our paths crossed again while working at the Arizona Republic. I figured I might as well get to know this girl, considering we'd probably just run into each other more and more as we continued our journalism classes. Surprisingly, we instantly became attached at the hip, hanging out at all times and becoming BFFs.

Since then, there have been three trips to California, too many days spent in the basement, countless hours getting goofy and a lot of wondering why everyone else is so dumb.

I am so thankful we came to be great friends. She is truly a blessing in my life. I would be even more of a disaster without her right now. Even though she lives on the other side of the country, even though she teaches Pre-K full time for TFA, even though she's taking graduate classes at John Hopkins ... we still manage to talk every day. I think that speaks volumes about how good of a friend she is and how much she means to me. I have friends who live 15 minutes away who couldn't be bothered to pick up my calls, let alone call me in the first place.

Thanks, ManFru. I don't know what I would do without you.



Photo courtesy of Deanna Dent.









P.S. - I forced Amanda to get a blog to chronicle her experiences as the greatest Pre-K teacher in all of Baltimore. You can read it here.

Edit with Amanda's response:
Amanda: celeste
oh my god
i am crying right now
you B
i cannot believe you did that!
ugh you are the best friend ever
and i miss you all the time tooo!

Then:
Amanda: i am in shock
me: why?
Amanda: i didnt think you liked me that much!'

Hahaha. Oh man.

Cutesy engaged moments, pt. 1

I have decided to write more easily digestible entries. My first attempt is the installation "Cutesy engaged moments." Here you will find embarrassing snippets of me and Josiah's relationship as a newly engaged couple.

Josiah: "You look especially German tonight."
Celeste: "No."
Josiah: "Yes, you do."
Celeste: "Why?"
Josiah: "Your hair, your complexion, your eyes--"
Celeste: "--Those have not changed. I don't look German."
Josiah: "It's not a bad thing. I'm German. You know who else is German?"
Celeste: "Hitler."
Josiah: "No."
Celeste: "Heidi Klum."
Josiah: "Yes! How did you know that's who I was thinking of?"

The rest of the conversation covered whether Seal was a robot or not.

I remember a summer's day...

I'm getting married. Not sure when. Not sure where. Not sure to who. Just kidding.

Josiah and I "met" in January of 2002. I was 14 and he was an older man of 16. He had black, plastic-rimmed glasses and wore black band T-shirts, just like me. I knew we were perfect for each other. I would see him in the halls of Millennium High School with his emo friends. Truth be told, I was his emo princess. He says my "Cheer Up Emo Kid" backpack patch "spoke to him."

Years passed and I had yet to say a word to him (barring when I interviewed him for the school paper). I continued being really girly, walking certain ways to class because I knew his friends hung out by the vending machines (so cool). I drew a heart around his junior year picture in the yearbook. I awkwardly sneaked around Blockbuster when I saw him walk in, only to run to the corner and call my best friend Megan. Looking back, I'm somewhat embarrassed, but not really. I'd probably act the same now!

In October of 2004, I received an unexpected instant message from my recently ex-boyfriend/good friend Zack. Our AIM exchange went like this:

"So I went to a Mt. Eerie concert and saw Josiah."

"..." (me being nervous over the Internet)

"Yeah, I told him you were in love with him."

"bad words!!!"

"He said he was interested in you."

"I hate you."

Considering Zack hadn't spoken with me for a couple months after I broke his heart (kidding about breaking the heart, not about the silent treatment), I thought he was just being a jerk. Turns out, for the first time ever, he wasn't!

After some gutsy contact via Livejournal, Josiah and I started e-mailing ... then phone conversing ... then meeting at Barnes and Noble on the fateful Wednesday evening of Nov. 3, 2004.

And now we're getting married.

It's about damn time. (Thanks Zack.)