It's 8 o'clock and I'm sitting here on my brand new (second-hand) couch. Josiah's lounging on the chaise next to me, furiously highlighting a book on some nonsense ... gender and modernity. Noah looks like one big lump at Josiah's feet; he's tangled up in his holey blankie.
Josiah and I are both in odd times of our lives right now. Things are busy, stressful, disappointing and, honestly, not right in some aspects. We both need to work through it until we can reach a point in life where we are happy -- not just OK.
A lot of times over the years (and especially this month) I've regarded Josiah and our commitment as the one "right" thing in my life (in addition to friends and family, of course). He has been the constant good force over the past five years -- the consistently encouraging presence through the strenuous classes, the late nights in the newsroom, the crappy jobs, the identity crises and the losses.
I haven't blogged in the past week or two because, honestly, I haven't done much. I've been addressing a lot of personal issues that have put wedding planning on the backburner. I'm trying to be proactive and positive, but it's hard to when the future is so uncertain.
But once again, I have to remember what is certain: Josiah and I are getting freaking married. And all of my best friends will be there. Why shouldn't I be excited? We are going to be throwing a party (for ourselves, but still) and it will be kickass.
Sometimes I have to remind myself what this wedding is about. My mom has brought this up a lot. It's about Josiah and I. It's about our love. It's about our marriage. Of course, it's also about all of the people who have brought us together, encouraged us, supported our decision.
So, here's the hoping that the coming blog entries will bear good news and fruitful inspiration. I need it. Both in life and in wedding.
P.S. - Thanks to Amanda, Erica and Todd for being especially great friends during this ever-changing time.